The past couple of days have just been blah days for me. Feel like I am in a rut. My husband has a pulled muscle in his chest and has been in some pain. So I have been trying to help take care of him for once. He is always taking care of me.
We stayed home from church yesterday. He wasn't feeling good neither was I . I had to increase my remodulin this past week. I was having trouble with Shortness of Breath and swelling. This is the first time I have had to do an increase since September 2008.
I get a little down every time I have to do an increase. To me it is showing me that I am not doing as well as I think I am. I see it as a defeat. I know many people will be like what are you thinking. That is just me and how I feel. My goal is to get better and increasing isn't getting better. So I guess I have been a little down about that too.
I try to stay positive with everything but some days that is just hard to do. I know that I can only take it one day at a time. God is going to take care of me and my family through this journey. I have to keep praying and giving it to God everyday.
This blog has helped me in so many ways. A lot of times I have a problem expressing my feelings. I know I can come here and get all my feelings out. Thanks to all of you who take the time to care and read my blog. I could be fooling myself and no one reads it but that is okay. I am doing this for me and to help someone else if I can.
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I read your blog. :) I'm sorry you're feeling yucky. I can understand how you feel with increasing Remodulin. None of us wants to increase anything we are taking, because it does seem like maybe we're taking a step backwards instead of doing better. But, if we didn't increase, we'd be doing more damage than good. That's how I see it. Trust me, I know how you feel! I hope your hubby feels better, too. :)
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